On the topic of Forgiveness

Luke 17:4

Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.”

I wrote about forgiveness almost exactly one year ago. Look at my June 2007 archives to read the post if you missed it. I can honestly say that this past year I have made huge leaps on my path to being able to forgive my father for something he put into action over 2 years ago. I have come to a place of understanding in my life that I cannot change some things. I DON'T have control over everything and everyone. Shocking I know. I have also been doing a lot of reading on the subject as of late and have pulled together a few key themes from my readings:

Forgiveness is a direct call from our Lord!

It is something extremely special which we are given, and something precious we are to replicate to others.

It is not easy.

It requires the practice of maturity, the patience to allow the process to unfold, and the tact to endure it.

Forgiveness is also a mandate from our Lord.

We can take great comfort in knowing that He is working while we are waiting, and even suffering.

When we put forgiveness into practice, we will be free from the bondage of bitterness and pain that imprisons us, disconnecting us from life and its wonders, which God has provided for us.


After listening closely to what God has been telling me lately I feel that I am ready to let go of the hurt and anger and give it all to Jesus. My dad is not going to all of a sudden decide he is no longer gay. It's not going to happen. I have accepted that.

What I need to do now is forgive him for hurting me terribly and stop holding that over him. I understand a bit better now that my dad was also hurt during the last 2 years. I also know now that by giving my dad forgiveness I am in no way saying that the hurt he caused was ok or that it didn't happen. I also have come to realize that my mother is still hurting and isn't ready to forgive and it is not wrong that I am in a place where I feel ready.

I love my father very much despite all the hurt he has caused me and I am working towards being able to verbally tell my father that I forgive him and just accept him for the way he is, no matter whether I agree with it or not. I am not in a position to be judging ANYONE. I must accept him the way he is knowing full well that I do not control his actions and cannot change what has gone on.

I will end this post with an excerpt from the most recent book I have been reading.


"Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge.


"We acknowledge that it hurt, that it mattered, and we choose to extend forgiveness to our fathers, our mothers, those who hurt us. This is not saying, it didn't really mater, it is not saying I probably deserved part of it anyway. Forgiveness says, it was wrong, very wrong. It mattered, hurt me deeply. And I release you. I give you to God.
It might help to remember that those who hurt you were also deeply wounded themselves. They were broken hearts, broken when they were young, and they fell captive to the Enemy (the Devil). They were pawns in his hands. This doesn't absolve them of the choices they made, the things they did. It justs helps us to let them go-to realize that they were shattered souls themselves, used by our true Enemy in his war."