Goodbye Nana

My Nana on her wedding day

Dancing with Papa at their wedding

On their honey moon

Papa, Nana, me (age 3), Kimberly

Nana with Kimberly and I

July 30th 2010 at 8:21pm is when the phone call came that rocked me to my core. "Stacey, are you sitting down? Nana has died". These words from my sobbing mother will never be forgotten. What do you mean Nana died!? My heart was breaking, the tears were flowing, and my mind just could not grasp this information.

My very much independent, active and vivacious 78 year old Nana tucked herself into bed and died peacefully in her sleep. This news was absolutely SHOCKING. There really are no words. Especially because my mom and I had plans to visit her in a mere 7 days from then. How can she be dead? The news wouldn't compute.

But Nana is dead. And even though we had her funeral this past Friday, I am still expecting to wake up and have this all be a bad dream. But it's not. My entire family wanders around with the same sentiment. "I just can't believe this has happened.....Is she really gone??.....I can't believe she's died".

This past week I have been in Trail with my entire family living on auto pilot. Going through the motions of planning her funeral and watching my mom and her sisters and brother deal with this terrible loss. It has been a time of many tears, and yet many laughs as well. So many good memories have surfaced.

My cousin and I were put in charge of making the memorial slide show for my Nana. That was a heart-wrenching task. Sorting through hundreds of pictures of our Nana and Papa and relieving memories from long ago. The slide show turned out beautiful and made me sob every time I watched it.

So now it is time to move on and grieve our loss of our beloved Nana, and Papa who left us a short 21 months ago. That is the only comfort in this time. That Nana is finally reunited in eternity with the love of her life and husband of 50+ years, my Papa.

You will always be missed Nana, your sudden death has left a huge void in all who have had the privilege of knowing and loving you.

Here is a poem that was written on the back of my Nana's memorial book. It is very appropriate for her.

If tears could build a stairway,

And memories were a lane,

I would walk right up to Heaven

To bring you home again.

No farewell's were spoken,

No time for goodbye,

You were gone before I knew it,

And only God knows why.

My heart still aches in sadness,

And secret tears will flow,

What is meant to me to lose you,

No one will ever know.


Author Unknown